I know, I know: I missed last month. Since it is way too much work to type out all of November’s progress along with December’s, let me just summarize it for you:
I wrote a total of 9,621 words in November, with a total of ten days where I didn’t write anything solid for The Diary of a Suicide. During three of those empty days I worked on reviewing the outline and furthering the plot of TDoaS, I just didn’t have a number I could put down. The rest of those days were pretty much me taking a small break for two reasons: the excuse I usually gave out and the actual reason. The excuse was that my mother’s birthday is the second of December and I needed to put all my effort into getting her birthday drawing done on time (not because I procrastinated, but because I scrapped pretty much every other idea I had for it until I literally didn’t have time to anymore and had to follow through with at least one of them). The actual reason was because I was finding myself utterly disenchanted with my own story, to the point where writing felt like a chore. Ever since I started documenting my progress, I’ve been pushing myself more and more to meet a certain quota, feeling like a slacker if I fell short on some days and always feeling like the little bit I could manage – just a little over 500 words a day – wasn’t good enough. This all kind of fell apart in November, when – as you can see – I ended up missing a whole lot of time because I was either second-guessing myself or feeling absolutely drained.
The point of taking the break was supposed to be to help me figure out my priorities – whether I should stop with these progress posts and just focus on the writing, or whether the story itself was the problem and whether I’d like to put it back to the spot of being a side story while I moved on to another that I was more excited for. But in the process of this break, while trying to take my mind off it and just make something cool for my mama, I found my mind constantly wandering back to it. I daydreamed more and more about TDoaS and it’s cast of characters – which, yes, is something I always did, but this time it wasn’t out of some sense of duty or because I was blocked. It was because I actually missed them. I wanted to get back to writing, it felt like something was missing, which is all I wanted. I pushed the break a little bit farther, until I returned from my visit with my mom, and I actually got excited for the chance to write again. For the sake of the experiment and deciding what I should do, I jumped right back into the routine of writing at least 500 words a day , every day, and as expected, found myself once again drained and slightly bitter, so I can almost guarantee you that my numbers for this month, January, are not going to measure up to the likes of, say, September. But hey! I can also guarantee you I’ll be a lot happier with the progress I do make, and that my words won’t come out sounding stale and meaningless.
Because of all this, I’d like to change the format of these posts (because I do still really want to keep you guys updated on what I’m doing, since I know some of you worry I’m going to throw in the towel on TDoaS and that you’ll never really get to know how Stella corrupted Carter). Instead of listing day by day, I’m going to summarize the overall month in a paragraph, like I did above. This opens up the possibility for me to actually discuss what I’m doing and doesn’t put the pressure on me to make every day count so intensely, taking a whole lot of pressure off my shoulders.
With that said, here’s the summary for December!
The first four days of the month, I was still taking my break. Between the 5th and the 23rd, I wrote a total of 12,955 words, which is actually a lot more than I would’ve expected myself to manage, considering I spent so much time running around with my brother every weekend trying to collect Christmas gifts for the family. As I’m sure you can guess, Christmas is also the reason I took off on the 24th, and since I’ve been at my mom’s house since then and am not going back until tomorrow, the 2nd of January, I extended my break from writing until then and have only worked on Project 2 character design. (I know I’ve already revealed the title elsewhere, but until I officially post about it here, I’m just going to keep saying Project 2 so I don’t have to explain myself.) I almost completely figured out the design of the main antagonist, I’ve drafted quite a few ideas for the overall plot, and more and more I’m figuring out the general art style I want the comic to be done in. It’s evolved so much, I’m so proud. *wipes tear* Before my Christmas break, there was one other day where I did no actual writing, and on that day I adjusted the outline for TDoaS – I think I shifted around the order of some events because I realized the way I had it set up made the timeline a bit weird – and actually wrote a blog post, the one about strong female characters! (As if it could be any other, though…)
So, progress has been made, and I’m happy with my choices. I’m super pumped for project two, and am actually still very much excited for The Diary of a Suicide (so take a chill pill, devoted Wattpad followers. I gotcha covered). All in all, I think 2017’s going to be a great year for me creatively (because lord knows every other possible way is going to go straight to hell). I can’t wait to show you what’s in store, I just hope you can put up with me long enough to make it there.
Here’s hoping for the best!